If only I was given a dollar for every time I made myself look stupid in front of a cute person
me: [violently slams head into wall]
come on im funny guys
today i accidentally dropped my pencil and when i reached down to get it i had this really awkward hand touch with a guy that was going to pick it up for me and he goes “oh i see how it is” with a flirty face and i panicked so i just blurted “i’m a lesbian” and then he got really quiet
if this gets to five hundred notes i think i’m going to throw myself off a cliff
I really hope she didn’t throw herself off a cliff
Me as a psychologist
Patient: I have a fear of dogsMe: oh look at my dog isn't it so cute *shows picture*
Patient: I'm sexually attracted to owls
Me: NAW SHIT FUCK THIS
Patient: I'm scared of helmets
Me: *enters in my loki cosplay* oops sorry im late I was at a con hold this *passes horned helmet*